I can never see myself how others do. Putting a bet on me is such a stupid thing to do in my own mind and I can’t bring myself to understand why people keep doing it. I can’t tell if I demand my own perfection to a fault or if I’ve decided I’m not worth my own time. It’s possible its both, but the real problem is that I don’t have the answer. I fail to view myself objectively, and maybe that’s just impossible.  I can’t rationalize faith in me, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy when I inevitably fail myself and those around me.

The logical gap I fall into is just that: rationalizing my faith in myself. Relying on my expectations and predictions prevents me from just putting all the chips on me. Catastrophizing the future paralyzes my decision making, and I just need to take the leap. If I don’t think I can, I won’t. It’s terrifying.

Do it or no balls.